Do you ever feel like no one quite understands what it’s like to be a pastor’s wife? We have to be “on” whether we feel like it or not. You know what it’s like to plant a smile on your face even when you just feel like holding your head down and crying. Some of us feel the pressure of keeping our house spotless no matter what.
I remember my mom telling me, “We have to keep the house clean at all times because you never know when someone might stop by.” We lived in a parsonage right beside the church and Mom was right. There were many times people would stop by unannounced.
Here’s the good news: as a pastor’s wife you don’t have to be perfect. In fact what the world around us needs is for us to be real. We don’t need to be rude, however, there is nothing wrong with admitting when we’re having a bad day.
I’ll never forget getting out of the car at church only to be greeted with a rude comment from one of the church ladies. “You look like you just lost your best friend!” “I did, today,” I responded. Just that day my best friend told me we could no longer be friends and I was devastated. To my surprise, this same church lady brought us dinner the next day.
On a side note, after seven years of no contact, my best friend and I got back in touch. I am happy to tell you that she is now one of my most dearest friends and we have a much healthier relationship.
Just a few months ago I had the amazing privilege of going to Thailand. One of the main things I did there was spend one-on-one time with Thai pastors’ wives and female pastors. Hearing their stories was eye opening. The things we had in common were far greater than what we didn’t. One thing that rang clear to me: we are the same. No matter where you are in ministry, no matter the size of your church, we pastors’ wives struggle with many of the same issues. Being encouraged today my friend, you are not alone.
In the video below, missionaries Chris Hosack and Tammy Brown briefly share about our time in Thailand as we reached out to the precious pastors’ wives and female pastors. I think you will be encouraged as you listen in.
What are some of the struggles you face as a pastor’s wife?